Does Chris’s Childhood/Background Hold any Clues?
Tammy: I have to say after this was all over, you know, people would bring up, “Oh my gosh, I bet you’re going to find out that Chris used to torture animals,” you know, all this stuff. You can imagine, like hearing that if someone’s capable of that, what have they done in their past, those kinds of things. Can you think back to your past at all, like your childhood, and think about any other moments that maybe you felt the same rage? I mean, obviously, you didn’t do anything like that, but maybe felt that rage and what would have triggered that or anything like that.
Chris: Not really. I was always somebody that tried to coax people down. If somebody wanted to fight somebody else – I think I got in a fight like when I was in third grade, but it was like we ripped each other’s shirt and we were like crying. It was stupid. I was like, “Why did I do that?” That was my only bad thing I did in school. I can’t think of anything.
Tammy: Did you feel it on the inside whether you didn’t act it out? Did you feel, like if someone bullied you at school, would it still be inside you? Did you feel like that even though you didn’t actually act on it?
Chris: I never really talked to many people, so I never, I mean, people knew who I was but they didn’t really, I mean, I never really spoke to many people. That’s why I never had a girlfriend in high school. I was always kind of like under the radar.
Tammy: Did you feel like you had low self-esteem?
Chris: I wouldn’t say low self-esteem, it was just like I didn’t want to be part of like a group or a clique, I had a couple of friends and sat at the lunch table with them or sat out, they called it the fish pond area, and just chilled out there. I didn’t even want a whole lot of friends, just kind of like close-knit, I just wasn’t out there. Like I said, people knew who I was, but it wasn’t, like, I wasn’t popular or anything.
Tammy: Can you attribute that to anything in your childhood? Why you were like that?
Chris: My sister was always the popular one. She was more like my mom, more like outgoing and like me and my grandma would always sit outside in the middle school, waiting for her to come out and pick her up and she’d always be the last one out because she’d talk to everyone in the hallway and my grandma was always like, “Where is she at? Does she know we’re waiting?” I was just the opposite of her. My mom was like, “Sometimes you have kids that are the same and sometimes you have opposite.” And me and my sister were totally opposite. Maybe I just drew on that, that I didn’t want to be the popular one, I wanted to be just a regular guy. There was never any bullying that I remember. Nobody ever really came up to me or wanted to fight me.
Tammy: Never got made fun of?
Chris: I had braces and I had like a bowl cut for a while, [inaudible 02:30:22] made fun of that.
Tammy: Most kids did.
Grahm/Dave: The ’80s and ’90s were cruel.
Chris: It was like a Jim Carey cut with a bowl on your head. I don’t think there was anything that would be pent up inside me from childhood.